*blows dust off blog*
I haven't been goaling much this year. I had a sole focus for 2014 and had kept it mostly a secret until now. My husband knew, most of my co-workers, and a few close friends I could trust not to hurt me.
For as long as I could remember, I'd been called fat. Even when I wasn't. I was 125lbs in high school and it was always commented on how much better I'd look if I was just a few pounds lighter. I'd come to terms with this abuse a long time ago and accepted myself for who I was but in the last two years my weight has been affecting my health. I got trapped in a bad circle between being told to exercise more yet not being able to do this due to arthritis. To make a loooooong story short, I decided to get a gastric sleeve.
This was not an easy decision. I've been a critical care nurse for over twenty years and working in a level I trauma center I've seen it all. The 'all' including gastric bypasses going bad. Sometimes knowledge isn't the best thing to have, but being a nurse gave me the advantage to get to know all the surgeons on a personal level. Not all doctors are made equal. They are like mechanics. Once you find a good one, don't let him/her go. I watched this one surgeon who introduced the gastric sleeve to our hospital for years and kept tabs on his record. (Meaning how many ended up in ICU vs not.) They all did well. After two years of watching and attempting to lose weight the regular way I made an appointment.
My trouble is not losing the weight. My trouble is keeping it off. I'm hungry ALL the time. There is no off button. His bariatric clinic is tough to get in to and they won't schedule you for surgery until we'd tried many things to understand my weight loss issues. After ten months, I discovered a lot about myself that I hadn't been aware of like the fact that I'm not a big fan of healthy meat or that my weight loss calorie threshold is very low (1000 calorie/day). Most people is 1200-1400 cal per day.
To get to the point, I finally had the sleeve done this week. I'm hoping to avoid diabetes and hypertension that strikes my family members in their late forties due to obesity. Now that I've achieved this difficult goal, I hope to get back to writing. My weight loss this week in 2.5lbs. Total weight loss for 2014=18lbs.
It's feels great to tell people. I was so fearful. All it would have taken was one negative person and I would have quit the program. I'm thankful for those who supported me and helped ease my fears to get me to this point.
Goal this week is to progress to full liquid diet and write three chapters on dragon.